I feel as though I should clarify....

After my last post, I received what I thought was strange feedback. In all of my posts, I felt that I was only expressing the sadness that I feel over the loss of my son. I had never once thought that I was complaining about my life or giving a hint that I might possibly end my own life. Even though we have endured great stress and loss, I still know that my life is a blessed one. I know that things can always be worse and that many suffer a great deal more than I have and will. That being said, I do still feel a great deal of sadness when I think about my beautiful baby boy. This is not sadness over the suffering that is over, it is more of a selfish sadness that never again on this earth will I hold him in my arms, will I kiss his sweet face, will I hear his infectious giggle. I would never wish for Bridger to endure more than he already has, but selfishly, I will still miss all of these moments. As far as ending my own life.... this will not happen, I have every intention of rejoining my son in the afterlife and we all know that doesn't come with suicide. Please know that my posts are a way for me to express my moments of grief and anger along with my wonderful memories. This blog allows me this release without having to see the discomfort on the faces of those who don't like hearing it firsthand. The blogging world has been such a comfort to me both during Bridger's life and since his death.