the story of two angels

The Tale of The Two Traveling Angels

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy man. The wealthy man did not think much of the two angels of light. He thought they were two useless vagabonds and refused to let them stay in one of his many guestrooms. Instead the two angels were given a small space in the cold and damp basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied: " Things are not always what they seem."

The next night the two angels arrived at the house of a very poor farmer and his wife. The poor couple immediately recognized the two strangers and were more than happy to welcome them into their home. They shared the little food they had and let the angels sleep in their own bed, where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the two angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was shocked. He turned to the older angel and asked him bitterly: " How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything but gave us nothing, yet you helped him. This couple had nothing but gave us everything and yet you let their cow die.

"Things are not always what they seem," the old angel replied calmly. "In the basement of the wealthy man's house a treasure of pure gold and diamonds is hidden in that hole in the wall. Since the man was so obsessed with greed and so unwilling towards us, I sealed the wall so he will never find the hidden treasure. Then last night as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. That old sickly beast was the cause of their poverty anyway and very soon now they will find a new and healthy cow." " Just remember", the old angel said to his young companion,
"Things are not always what they seem."

Sometime after Bridger died, I heard of this story.  I don't remember if someone told me the story or if I read it somewhere, but over the last 3 years, it has given me a lot of perspective. What I get from this story is that whatever happens, the alternative is worse.  For me, to make peace with the circumstances and timing of Bridger's death, I knew that the other option was much worse than the one we have endured.

This may sound crazy to so many of you, but it makes sense to me.  Though Bridger's death was chaotic and terrifying and Danny and I were hundreds of miles apart as our child died, I know that God picked that time and place because the alternative was worse.

"How can it be worse?"  you might ask.  Well to me, having the last thing my child sees be the barrel of a gun while at school is much worse.  Having my child die after being kidnapped and tortures would be much worse.  Even losing my child, knowing that I wasn't able to enjoy every part of his being would be worse than the way I lost Bridger.  Though I didn't want him to go, I am forever grateful that I had every moment with him that I did.

So now with Finleigh.  Knowing that Danny and I will be together and with her as she takes her last breath will be the better alternative for us.  Knowing that we would surround her with love for all of her time here with us is better than never having had her to love.  Carrying her in my belly and getting to know her sassy ways is better to me than never having her at all.

SO back to the topic "things are not always what they seem"

Just looking at us, many people would see a young couple who will have lost two babies to a horrible disease and people pity us.  Now there are days that I see that too and I pity us too. But most days, I am so grateful that I got to be a mom, even if only for a moment.  But I got to be a mom for a moment TWICE!  For me, to have never even had these moments would be the worse option.
 We are a couple who have wanted children for a long time and we were lucky enough to have them, even if just for moments.

Now, I feel like I am just rambling, but I hope you see what I see in this story and in this post.  Your alternative could be SOOO much worse.