If you all remember from a previous post I am working back in long term care again. I still work in the wound clinic at PCMC, but that is only 12 hours a week. Being in the hospital less is bittersweet. I don't get to meet other heart moms as I could before, I can't keep tabs on the cardiology and cardiothoracic teams as I could before. But, my overwhelming panic attacks are decreasing as are my flashbacks. It is not that I want to forget the moments I had with my baby boy, but sometimes the haunting of some of our more terrifying moments is more than I can bear. When I leave PCMC after clinic in the evenings, the halls are quite empty and I am taken back to the many 7 pm shift changes when I was kicked out of the PICU for shift change. I would count down the moments until 8 pm when I could return to Bridger's bedside. Now as I walk through the halls, I know that I am not simply waiting to get back to his room and I become overwhelmed and can't catch my breath.
30 months-Pondering "The Savior of the World"
10 years ago
2 comments:
I can completely understand your need for change and I think of you more than you probably know. I am so glad that I met you when I did. Take care of yourself. You deserve it.
I missed you at the heart walk! I cried when they said Mr. Bridgers name! None of the beautiful butterflys wanted to leaving. It was so awesome. The butterflies stayed and played with all the other kids. The little heart angels wanted to play like they never could! Kids were holding them or they would land on them. I hope all is well with you and your family! Miss you!
Heather
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