again.....

I was hysterical as I tried to type this post.  I could not see through my tears and I was having difficulty catching my breath.  Thanks to my computer not working, I was forced to catch my breath and settle down a bit.

Ava is gone.  She was in her mother's arms as she took her last breath early this morning.  Though her earthly body endured so much and her prognosis was poor, I still hoped that she would be the odds.  She already had so many times before.  You can read about her sweet little life and tender death at avalonranae.blogspot.com

I began following this sweet girl's journey a few weeks ago whem she was placed on ECMO
In order to try and save her life.  Many children do not make it off of ECMO, but she did.  And she continued to fight for days afterward.

Her journey brought back so many memories of Bridger's life and death.  Both of our children thought that Primary Children's was their home.  So many times Ava's parents and Danny and I were told to take our children home to die.  In the end, they both coded.  In the end, we both said to stop resuscitation.  And them comes the journey back to your home state to start "real life" again.

Amber, if you ever read this, I am not trying to take away from you journey with Ava by noting the similarities of our journey with Bridger.  I just feel so strongly tied to you and your sweet baby girl.

Now Ava's parents have joined a club whose existing members cry whenever someone new joins.   Though we don't want our group to grow, we stand with open arms and breaking hearts to those who enter.

I was so furious when I first red Amber's post.  I did not want Amber to have to hold her child's cold and lifeless body!  I don't want her to know what it is like to plan her daughter's funeral!  I hate that yet another mommy will know the pain that still haunts my heart and soul.  And no my friends,  the pain does not improve!!!

Please pray for Ava's parents and her family.  They will need all of the love amd support they can get.