A couple of topics on the table for this post:
This weekend marks another anniversary, this is the last weekend that Danny, Bridger and I were home together as a family. We weren't foolish enough to think that we would not return to the hospital, however, I did not expect our next admission to Primary Children's to be our last. Danny and I have both been moving into a fog as this weekend gets closer. Last year on the 4th of July, I had the fireworks in New York on TV so that Bridger could watch them before he went to bed. But, he had no intention of disturbing his routine by staying up late for such things, so as our usual, we went to bed at 8:30 pm so that we could be up for 2:00am meds. Truly, this was our best 4th of July to date. This year, I am working in hopes that the holiday will pass quickly. I will ask for forgiveness in advance for the upcoming weeks. I am sure Danny and I will remain in this fog as we approach the one year anniversary of Bridger's death and funeral along with his 2nd birthday. These days will not be easy for us.
On the second note, another heart hero is deciding whether to continue her journey on this earth. I met Annie and her mother, Amy a couple of months ago when I was speaking at PICU parent hour and have been keeping an eye on them ever since. Every time I meet a new heart hero, I can't help but have the thoughts that this might be THE one to overcome the many odds that are stacked against them. Annie was no different, in meeting her and feeling her sweet spirit I couldn't help but think that she would be THE one, the medical miracle to prove us all wrong. And though her life to this point has been one miracle after another, I still want so badly for her to be the one in twenty years to stand up and say "I did it and your child can too". You all know that I had these same thoughts about Bridger. I know that every moment of life for these amazing babies is a miracle, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be grateful if another moment were offered. Please pray that Annie, Amy and their family have the strength and courage to follow the paths that have been set for them. Just as Annie's life has always been, these next hours and days will not be easy for this amazing family. Amy- I know that your family will have the grace that is needed for the trials that lay ahead. You are in my heart and in my prayers.
And as always, Bridger, Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you every moment of every day!
30 months-Pondering "The Savior of the World"
10 years ago
7 comments:
I am so sorry. We will keep you in our prayers for the months to come. May you have peace in his memories and feel of sweet Bridgers spirit embracing you. And may Bridger have the best view of the fireworks ever.
I can't imagine what you are feeling right now. I will keep you in our prayers!! Keep the happy memories alive and know that Bridger is with you...always.
PS...
My first thought when Owen got sick was heart. I have talked to his cardiologist several times a day all week... he's amazing. We have an appointment next week.
I have debated several times about writing this. I found your blog a while ago when your sweet Baby Bridger was still with you. How could I not fall in love with your sweet baby boy and those big beautiful eyes. I still check up on your blog and wonder how you are doing in what must be a very difficult season of your life. I hope it wont bother you that I named my sweet baby boy Bridger also. He is 8 months old and I just feel in love with the name, especially after seeing pictures of your sweet Bridger. I'll be thinking of your family today and praying you feel some peace!
We are thinking of you during this tough, tough time. I am so sorry that you have to go through this and am very saddened that another mom may be soon enduring one ofs the hardest things in life. Know that we are cheering for you and all you do for these sweet little ones and their families.
Becca-Ellie's mom
I am a friend of Amy Sabin's and follow your blog through Annie's. I am very touched by your story and loss. I am the mother of a severely mentally disabled 13-year-old daughter who lives in a care center. I still mourn the death of my dreams for her. Although I have not physically lost a child, having things turn out so very differently than I had planned is still difficult.
The fog lasts a long time and you get to deal with it how *you* want. There are no rules in grief. Go to Barnes&Noble and pick up the book "Tear Soup" by Pat Schweibert. It helps a lot.
My love and support are coming your way even though we are complete strangers. Everything shapes us. <3
Just wanted to let you know that you guys are in our thoughts and prayers. Dave and I felt so privileged to meet Bridger and spend a little time with you and Danny.
Oh, Staci. The song on your page brings tears to my eyes. You are such a strong person, and a shining example for many heart parents. You are always on my mind. I pray you find a lot of comfort in the coming weeks.
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