Since the year after Bridger died, my sister-in-law has invited us to spend Christmas Eve with them watching a movie and eating snacks. They have 5 children, the youngest of whom is Bridger's age. They have always been so good to take us in as their own. They offer a comfortable environment, no expectations, no judgements. This year is the fourth year we have joined them in their family tradition. We were watching the movie. I was laying on the floor in front of the television when their youngest came to lay next to me. She snuggled right up and looked at me and said "you can't see from down here, come sit with me". Now I love to snuggle my nieces and nephews, but I try not to smother them all of the time and that is why I stayed on the floor until she asked me to sit with her. We moved to the couch and she snuggled up again. She had her doll that she made sure to cover with her blanket. She grabbed my hand to hold and said "oh, you are cold, do you need a blanket too?". I told her no, that I was okay. She continued to hold my hand. As we watched the rest of the movie, she would whisper different thoughts to me. After the movie was over, she said she had something to show me. She ran up to her room and hurried back down to me with a letter from one of Santa's elves addressed to her. As she read it excitedly to me, I began to cry. This sweet little girl so full of love and life and hope was sharing a little of her joy with me. As tears ran down my cheeks, the oldest daughter came and sat next to me and held my hand. I put my head on her shoulder and continued to silently cry. These are the moments that families cherish. And we are so blessed to be allowed in to this family's memories. Though part of my tears were from missing my sweet babies, the other part were from the love that I was shown tonight. On this Christmas Eve, I am so grateful for all who have been part of my life. For all who have loved me and all who have allowed me to love them.
Merry Christmas my sweet Bridger and Finleigh! We love you!!!
30 months-Pondering "The Savior of the World"
10 years ago
5 comments:
God Bless you and keep you.
We are still praying for you.
You're always in my heart & prayers~LoVe & (((HUGS))) always ~ Benji
I love yout so much, Staci. ♡
I love yout so much, Staci. ♡
Last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to me, the other to the Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of suffering, when you could see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you
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