A Poem

So that other heart mom I met gave me a copy of this poem today:

The Day I Became A Heart Mom

One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick. I thought "am I to blame?"
I don't think I can handle this. I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking. I have loved him for so long.

I will not give up on this child. I will listen to your advice.
I will give my child any chance. No matter what the price.
I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube. My child must survive!

Will he need a lot of therapy? Will he gain the needed weight?
Please God help me to do this. I will accept our fate.

When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound. Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another angel earns his wings, I run to my child's bed.
I watch him sleep for quite a while. I bend down and kiss his head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken. I look to you wondering why?
Oh lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.

And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here, but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"

From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed..
From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.
From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.
With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.

For all who see that faded line, I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much, I would face any trial.
That scar I trace with my finger (it's the door to his beautiful heart),
God must have known how much I'd love him (just as He loved him from the start)

A heart mom is always a heart mom, now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven, our hearts share in all your tears.
Every day I will try and remember, I was chosen for him (and no other)
I will always embrace that beautiful day.....when I became a "Heart Mother"

----Author Unknown



Well that about sums it all up---Love Staci

New Pictures

Here are some pictures of Bridger when he was re-intubated, when they extubated and put him on high flow for an hour and then when they put him back on C-PAP. Also a picture of the bath after yesterdays blowout, I hope you like them.
Love, Staci

what a day

Bridger's breathing tube was removed yesterday and he was put on C-PAP again-this makes him very angry so they have been keeping him sedated. He woke up a bit this evening and had a giant poop! That is great because narcotics can make you constipated. It was so big and I wasn't expecting that much so as I was changing his diaper more came and was spread everywhere! The good news of that is he got to have a real bath-which he loves. I'll send pictures of that soon.

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness

One more thing everyone--while I was in the waiting room today I met another heart mom who told me about this great CHD website. You can go on just to get info or you can custom order awareness products. All of the proceeds go to CHD research. Click HERE for the website (CHDfamilies.org)

another day

so we went downstairs to the flouroscopy lab today to have another central line placed and now we are back in our room. Bridger had to be sedated and paralyzed again for the line placement so we are just going to keep working on strengthening his lungs and hoping he can gain some weight as well. otherwise no big changes for now.
----Staci

A Long Day

Well they found infection in Bridger's blood and it settled in his PICC line, so it was removed today. They can't place another PICC until the infection is cleared so the doctors spent four hours trying to place an arterial line today. They tried his right wrist, right groin, right foot and finally found success in his left foot. So after some medicine to paralyze him and several sedatives to keep him calm, we are trying to let him rest in order to recover from the whole ordeal. Hopefully we can start strengthening his lungs again after he recuperates from today.
Thanks for everyone's concern,
Love Staci

Staci got a haircut!

Staci's been talking about getting a haircut since they've been in the hospital. Her hair was just too long and time consuming to do everyday when really she just wants to be by Bridger's side. So a friend of Danny and Staci came to the hospital with shears in hand and cut it for her. They put down a sheet in the shower room just off the PICU and went to work. Her friend put it in a ponytail, asked if she was ready, then chopped it off in one lop. Staci ended up with 12 inches of hair that she donated. Now it takes her ten minutes tops and looks super cute.

Love IT!

Leisa